examz!

arghhh..examsss are killers muderers. or assasinsss...my days are spoiled bec of them..just bec i study one whole day n one hwole night doesnt mean that m good or not good in dat subject rite..duh!! why cant ppl ustand dat!! i mean u can still look at refs wen u work wats da big deal abt that!

all smiles =)

it was all smiles on the day i met you..
it was all smiles the first time i spoke to you..
it was all smiles when we became friends..
it was all smiles when you went into my heart..
it is all smiles every time i see you..
it is all smiles every time you smile at me..
it is all smiles when hold my hand..
it is all smiles when you hold me..
it is all smiles when u make me smile..
it is going to be all smiles forever my life with you by my side =)

Love Life & Friendship

Wikipedia says love is the emotion of strong affection and personal attachment. In philosophical context, love is a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection. LOL..dats wat my response for mr.Wikipedia =) is that all love is about? NAHH..its more than that..love is love of everything..u can even love a frog that is..but you love and that matters..its funny how love creeps into human and stays there, even when its no more in their mind..hearts stores love, like forever..example, u loved to eat lets say cotton candy when ur like about 3 years old..and then u grew up and ur mind forgets about it, but then when u see that same cotton candy like about 30years later ur heart reminds u about the love u had for it..that is love for a mere cotton candy..and love for human,is just something not just extra special but it is extraordinarily special..the love we feel for our family is extraordinary, the love we feel for our special one is specially extraordinary, and the love we feel for our frens are extraordinary as well...its brilliant how human can love so many people at once, we are the privileged species i would say..loving our family is not a must or responsibility,its within us..its the only kind of love that we are bron with..we feel in love with our mom when we share her food, fell in love with our dad when we hold his finger to learn how to walk and we fell in love with our siblings when we run along with them in the playground..
and as for our special ones, its even more extraordinary..they are not the love we were born with but they are the love we discovered in our life and they became the sweetest love in our life, almost like a fairytale..its hard to explain the feeling we get when our heart beats extra fast when we look into the special person's eyes, when the special person touches us or when their smile almost melts us..that feeling of love is hard to explain, hard to understand and very hard to feel until we meet THE ONE =)...
and friendship is a beautiful gift to us given by ourselves...we find frens so its our gift to ourselves isnt it..we all love our frens..our true frens,those are with us when we need them and those are still there wen we dun need them..lol..frens are there always and forever..they love us when we make a mistake, they love us when we correct their mistake..that love is a giving love and only giving love..
there are many love moving around the world..love rules the world and our ability to love puts mankind in a very special position..we feel happy when a baby is born and we feel sad when someone leaves us..all of us are going to leave our loved ones one day..and at that time we dont want to regret the fact that we forget to love anyone..

Beautiful people..

Beautiful people are one of the most beautiful thing that can happen to a person,
beautiful people in my life are truly beautiful,
beautiful people in my make me smile,
beautiful people in my life make me laugh,
beautiful people in my life hold me when i need them,
beautiful people in my life take the loneliness out of me,
beautiful people in my life brings the best out of me,
beautiful people in my life help me to enjoy the beauty of life, especially with them,
beautiful people in my life make my life beautiful,
beautiful people in my life are my friends and i love the beautiful people in my life..=)

LONESOME

i used to like being alone,
it excites me,
it gives me a real peace of mind,
and being alone was like a gift to me,
how much all that changed since you..

i never really felt it since for the past few days,
u were not here with me,
how alone i am,
right now at this very damn moment..

and i realise after a very long time,
loneliness can kill..

i hate being alone,
and thats not just a statement,
its my heart's cry,
which im sure you would have heard,
as my heart is in you sweetheart...

i hate sitting at the cafeteria alone,
i hate eating there alone,
i hate it when someone stare at me,
i hate it when someone ask me if the chair next to me is empty,
i hate it when i have to stare at my food the whole time i eat,
why? because i have no reason to look up,
i hate it when tears play hide and seek through my eyes,
because it gives a bitter taste to the food im eating,
funny to say, but i hate it to feel hungry when you're not with me...

i wish i didn have to disturb you like how i did,
i know you're away and you're with your family,
i am very sorry for that,
but i just needed to know there is someone for me and im not alone...

i wish im more independent,
but more than that,
i wish im never hungry without you,
i wish im never bored without you,
i wish i never have to do anything without you,
even better,
i wish im never alive wihout you...
because eventually the lonneliness will kill me...<3

Disability is strength..

Few years back when i first stepped into a home of disabled people, i was so depressed that i couldn't eat for days or even sleep...to see them like that almost killed me..at that point of my life i was enjoying the so called perfect world and perfect life...though i was young it was like a huge eye opener for me to see the special people in that condition..when i cried,my father was beside m and he smiled at..he said its funny that i'm crying for them when they are actually smiling..it is true actually.when i went there and met them,all they were doing is smile..all of them..no one was crying there..even the caretakers and the parents were smiling..at that age,i was pretty annoyed because i thought we are suppose to be sad there and at least show our sad face when we're there and smiling was a big no no..i was angry at them for smiling and i was angry at God for making them like that..when i spoke to my father again about that he keep referring to them as special people..i got angry all over again, how can they be called when they are in this condition??i never got the answer until i grew up bit and when i went back to the same place..the kids there smiled at me so broadly when i went in..and the way they spoke to me,gestured at me,all this really touched me..they were happy..they're special and they're happy..that is when i know why are they special...how can they not be?? :)..here we are, very much perfect i with all our legs and hands and blah blah but yet we still have all kind of selfishness in us that makes us so moody and low in confidence and sad and frustrated with life and most of the time giving up in life though we don't really admit that..but look at them, disabled, but that they're strength..they smile and what a genuine smile that is..they live their life, just like us but in a more special way and thats not because they depend on others all the time, it is because they live their life with more confident and more happiness than any of us..one might argue,they don't have the worries we have,don't have the responsibilities we have..but yet we must not forget that we are more fortunate than them,in many ways,though, they are more fortunate than us in one huge way,that is they live their life in a better way than we do..if we get frustrated in life,just imagine them..they should be feeling depressed every second of their life..but they are not! why? because they are special..they look at life in a different way,the same way we should be looking at life..with confidence,with beauty,with the feeling that we are not the only citizen of this earth,there are others and all of us are equal and of course with the happiness that should always be in us so that we we're sad,depressed,frustrated the happiness will be there to help us through that tough times..one should always remember that the negative feeling that we feel,let it be sadness,revenge,frustration or anything else, all these feelings should just be a mask that covers our happiness,it should be temporary and we have to believe that no matter how long it takes, one day the mask will have to be taken off...the mask should not be made permanent, because that is when life becomes not worth living for...when i looked into their eyes,i see that they are happy..and that is one of the biggest inspiration in my life..appreciating life is something they do alot....that the life and thats what they appreciate..we live once,at least this life we live it only once and appreciating is so so compulsory! its not easy to be in that position and appreciate life but when they do, it shows the tremendous strength in them that we can only wish for because all of us, so called 'perfect' are actually so much weaker than them,we are scared of life...nothing is perfect in life,absolutely nothing is..so why waste time looking for a perfect life? being happy with what we have and making it better sounds like a more sensible idea isn't it??...they are disabled and different from us in many ways, but they can teach a lot, about life anf the way to live it..their disability is their ultimate strength...

=)

U gave me the jewel,
U gave me the gold,
U gave me smile,
U gave me joy,
U gave me life,
U gave me my world,
U gave me a gift,
U gave me my precious friends=)

=(

The pain in me is left unsaid,
How can you not see it,
When i looked at you,
When i smiled at you,
When u felt my shivering palms,
How can u not feel my pain,
How can u not see the tears in my eyes,
Is this what your love means,
Is this what i mean to you,
Or is this the end of everything,
Dont leave me hanging,
Dont leave the words unsaid,
Dont kill me inside,
Tell me now,
Before i die in vain..

Lies...

I woke up in the morning,
looked at myself in the mirror,
a reflection of emptiness saw me,
you caused it and i knew it,
I said I care about you, You said you feel the same,
You lied to me,
I said you made my life, You said life begins with me,
You lied to me,
I said every night I dream about you, You said your nights are empty without me,
You lied to me,
I said you are my world, You said you'll fight the world for me,
You lied to me,
I said you are my everything, You said im your everything,
You lied to me,
Then, one day,
I said I love you,
You were silent,
every inch of my heart wanted you to lie that day,
And tell me that you love me too....

22 years to realise it...

i woke up on my bday with a smile..like evryone else would..i mean its a the day ur born and it only comes once year,so its definitely the most special one!!then got a big fat hug frm my very the good fren...on that mornin wen i looked at myslef in the mirror i thght i have a great life..22years passed and i have good food,shelter,great family and frens to show their love and most importantly i have a life,a life to remember and cherish...then i looked at myself again and i realised looking at the gal in front of me, how lucky she is, and for all this time she actually had super many things to complain about!how pathetic is dat...i looked at myself the thought came to me,here i am living in this world for more than 2decades, and how heavy the degree of selfishness have i practised...it was my birthday,i was looking forward for a party back home without even a single thght abt the ppl outside who dun even have a single meal on their bday..it was like a slap in the face and that moment i had tears stinging my eyes..wat about them? was not the question in my mind..wat have i done fro them was something i asked my self..22years in this world,with a complete life and the thght of sharing was so minimum in me that it hurts to even think abt it..no matter who they are,their family..we live on the same planet and all of us have a reason to be here,and sharing shud be part of life coz every hman being on this planet has the rights for everything..if they cant get it,we who has it, help them to get it..i was so distressed on the morning of my bday thinking,me a person who thinks unselfishness is God,has been so selfish..to think abt a child out there regretting y did he was even born in this world and a mother who is not happy wen her baby was born simply because she has nothing to feed him is cruelity..and at the same time dats reality....im not saying everyone shud give up all their luxury and help others..its a matter of thought and doing wat u can...helping a single soul is already a huge favour..dats da realisation that hit me..all this wile,we were leaving everything to the large organisations and people..but i feel its time to change that do what we can do as well..being in malaysia,we dont have to go to afghanistan to help the needy..every part of the world there are people who need us..whom we can help,there are people who need us to make them smile,there are people who need us to serve them atleast a single meal..and i told myself,wen i wake up in the morning of 22 jan 2011,i wana smile genuinely at myself because i have done something for my family out there....